TITLE: A Table Called LAXNE
AUTHOR: Kathleen Anderson
SPOILERS: not a one
SUMMARY: The short Sam and Jack scene continues
FEEDBACK: Of course!
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.


True to his word, Jack was at Sam's place at 11:00 the next day. He parked his truck behind Sam's car and waited for her to come out. He assumed that she would be waiting for him, all ready to go. He waited for a couple of minutes, turning on the radio to help pass the time. He waited for another five minutes and began to squint at her windows.

"All right Carter, I'm coming in after you." he said and purposefully got out the truck and marched up the walk.

Jack reached the door and jabbed the doorbell with his index finger. He waited a moment before knocking. "Come on Carter," he said impatiently, "Everyone's gonna have taken all the couches by the time we get there!"

The door opened just as Jack's finger made for the bell again, "Sir!" Sam said, looking genuinely surprised.

"Uh hey Carter, what's up with the robe? You planning on going out in that?"

"Going out?"

Jack stared at her, "Yes, couch shopping, remember?"

Sam put a hand to her mouth, "I thought you were joking!"

Jack shook his head, "Nope, not this time Carter. You'd better get dressed. So many couches, so little time."

Sam stepped aside and motioned for Jack to come inside, "You can wait in here, I'll go get dressed."

So Jack stepped inside and watched as Sam scurried away to get dressed. He didn't want to take off his boots so he stayed in the foyer. Sam began banging around, opening and closing drawers. He could picture her tossing her clothes about.

As Jack was admiring the paint job on the walls, Sam reappeared, this time fully dressed. "I just have to grab my purse and then we'll go."

Jack nodded and hoped it wouldn't take her too long to find her purse. It didn't and soon he was back in his truck, with Sam beside him.

"So where are we going?"

Jack flicked on the turn signal and pulled out onto the street, "I was thinking IKEA?"

Sam pulled the visor down and used the mirror to apply lipstick, "They have some nice stuff. A lot of it is very modern though."

"You don't think I'm a modern guy?"

"I actually had you pegged as more of a rustic kind of guy."

"Well, we can always go to Sears."

"Let's go to IKEA anyway, I've been wanting to look for a new end table and besides, I love looking around in there."

"Alright IKEA is it."

Sam continued to apply her lipstick as Jack found his way to the IKEA store. After a lengthy battle for a parking space, Jack managed to get his truck squeezed in and he and Sam were soon entering the store.

"Do you want to check out the couches first?"

"Might as well."

They consulted a store directory and made their way to home furnishing department. Sam immediately went over to a dark purple sofa bed, "What about this?" she asked, running her hand over the cushions.

"Purple? You think I want a purple sofa bed?"

Sam shrugged and moved over to a white couch, "What about this one?"

"I don't think that white is such a good idea unless I want to ban Danny from sitting on it."

There were several more styles, all of which Jack shot down. They then moved onto the end tables.

Sam was admiring a sleek, stylish table, "I think I like this one the best."

Jack eyed her curiously, "It's the only one you've looked at."

"It speaks to me, it's saying 'Take me home, please!'"

"I'm glad that things don't talk to me in stores."

Sam checked the price on it, "Yep, it's definitely saying 'take me home' Are you sure things don't talk to you? Maybe you just aren't listening carefully enough."

"Quite sure Carter, quite sure. So you're going to take that one then?"

Sam hoisted the table up and hugged it to her, "Yes, LAXNE here is coming home with me."


"It's the table's name."

"Oh, it sounds like something you take when you're constipated."

Sam laughed and moved LAXNE to a more comfortable position, "We ready to go then?"

"You don't want to look around?"

"Not carrying this thing."

Jack shrugged, "Okay, guess we're ready to go then."

Sam paid for LAXNE and they put her in the back of Jack's truck. "On to Sears?" Jack asked as he unlocked his door. Sam nodded.

"I certainly hope they don't have purple sofa beds."

"I think we'll find something there for you sir."

Jack eased his truck out of the parking space and headed back out onto the roads.

"You want to grab a bite to eat while we're at the mall?"

"Before or after looking in Sears? I'm really not hungry yet, I ate breakfast at 10:00."

"We can go after Sears, no problem."

They arrived at the mall and Jack once again began to prowl the parking lot looking for a spot large enough for his truck. "They never make the parking spots big enough." Jack said as he passed by a spot that couldn't have been more than 4 feet wide.

"There's one!" Sam said, pointing to a spot several rows away. Jack drove over there and neatly parked the truck.

Sam hopped out and gazed at LAXNE in the back, "Is she going to be alright back there?"

"We'll cover her with a tarp, I'm sure she'll be just fine."

"Can't we put her in the truck?"

Jack sighed and lifted LAXNE from the back and deposited her on the seat, "Better?"

Sam smiled, "Much, thank you."

Sears was fairly crowded as Sam and Jack entered the store, "I think the funiture is this way sir." Sam said, pointing to the left.

"Lead on Major."

Jack followed Sam past the televisions and stereos, past the washers and dryers, and past the beds, before arriving at the couches.

Sam bounded over to a black leather one, "Oh this one is nice, feel it."

Jack obiently ran his hand over the smooth leather, "The price is horrendous though."

Sam's eyes bugged out as she checked the price, "Okay," she said, moving to the next one, "This one's nice. It's not purple or white."

Jack eyed the couch in question, a modest dark green upholstered sofa, "That's more my style."

Sam looked at the price tag, "Not a bad price either."

"Better have a test sit."

Jack plopped down on it, and Sam sat next to him, "It's not lumpy." she said.

"Ah, feels good. Makes me want to put my feet up and have a beer."

"I guess we've found your couch!"

"Guess so."

Jack waved over the salesman and told him that he wanted the couch he was sitting on.

"So Carter," Jack said, "I've been thinking, now that I've got my new couch, maybe I should have some people over, you know, to celebrate the new addition."


"No, not tonight. All this shopping as worn me out, I was thinking maybe tomorrow night. Invite Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, Cassie and Hammond, heck maybe even Siler would want to come!"

"Sounds good to me."

"You can bring LAXNE over if you want, meet the gang."

Sam laughed, "You know what sir, I might just do that!"