Title: The Captain's Banana
Author: Kathleen O'Clare (katieo_clare@yahoo.ca)
Rating: PG-13
Author's ramblings: I was in the middle of composing an essay for English class when I pictured a banana. This story is the result of that and Christmas break insanity

Captain Janeway approached her replicator with just a hint of trepidation. Last time she'd ordered something from it, something had gone horribly wrong and instead of seeing a cup of French vanilla cafe, she had received some tea, earl grey, hot. Janeway gave her replicator a *look*, cleared her throat and with as much bravado as she could muster ordered the blasted thing to give her a hot fudge sundae. She held her breath as the replicator whirred to comply.

Janeway did not receive her much anticipated hot fudge sundae. Janeway received a banana. She stared at the absurd looking yellow fruit and giggled. A banana, while not a hot fudge sundae, had its uses. She plucked the banana out of the replicator and admired its smooth length.

"Captain Janeway to the bridge!" blared Commander Tuvok's voice over her comm. Janeway winced and almost considered ignoring the hail but then thought better of it. She clutched the banana in her hand and made her way to the bridge.

The captain strode onto the bridge, "Report!" she barked.

If anyone noticed that their captain was holding a banana, they gave no notice. Tuvok anwered Janeway's question, "Sensors are picking up several vessels on an intercept course, Captain."

Janeway shrugged and flopped down into her chair. Chakotay leaned over, "that a nice banana you have there Captain", he said in a sotto voice, "I haven't had a banana in a long time." Janeway simply stared at her first officer.

"Captain, the vessels are almost here!" exclaimed Harry Kim.

Janeway sighed, "On screen."

From the helm came the distinctive sound of Tom Paris giggling. Janeway was displeased that anyone would giggle while on duty, "Would you like to share what's so amusing with the rest of us Lieutenant Paris?"

Paris composed himself, "Well Captain, you see, it's just that those ships look a lot like..."

"My banana!" interrupted Chakotay, who had gone into the Captain's ready room and replicated himself a banana.

The Captain eyed Chakotay's banana. "Not bad Commander", she commented.

"Captain, it would appear that the ships are elongating" stated Tuvok.

Lieutenant Paris excused himself and left the bridge, snorting with laughter.